How to Give Yourself a Heart Attack

Written on April 20, 2010 – 10:20 am by Ding

Step 1)              Get a significant hair cut in your lunch hour that takes at least six inches off the length of your hair.

Step 2)              Go back to work and forget about the hair cut.

Step 3)              In the evening, watch an episode of Quantum Leap for the first time.

Step 4)              Go to the bathroom after watching the episode and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.

Step 5)              Heart Attack.

I Never Liked Argos Anyway

Written on April 8, 2010 – 6:50 pm by Ding

Argos

The gods are displeased with Argos? I can sympathise. Everything I bought from them has broken too.

I saw Clash of the Titans last night.   Film wise it was adequate, watch-able, but a bit weak at the same time with action sequences that although quite good, seemed to fizzle out a bit too quickly and the bits joining the action sequences together (sometimes referred to as dialogue, or in rare examples “plot”) were either a bit to drawn out or otherwise dull.

The major issue I had with it however was entirely my problem.  I cracked up every time someone said the word “Argos”.  Now, this is highly distressing, because as a student of ancient history and a fan of Greek mythology, I know that Argos was a kingdom in ancient Greece long before it was everybody’s favourite everything-shop, but right from the beginning when the gods of Olympus state that the statue of Zeus was torn down by “soldiers from Argos”, I couldn’t help imagining that it meant the soldiers had been ordered from a laminated catalogue.

When one of the characters declares “I Never Liked Argos Anyway”, I’m sad to say I nearly lost it.

I think what I’ve experienced is something akin to the “Weird Al Effect”, whereby a parody of something becomes more famous and familiar than the original, only with branding taking the place of the parody.  The worst bit is that I know full well that Argos was a place in Greece and I’ve read enough mythology to know it’s significant, but I still giggled like an idiot any time someone said its name.

Additional Notes:

If anyone might be interested in a recommendation:  It’s alright.    Not great.  Not awful.  Some big scorpions.   Medusa.  A Kraken.  Liam Neeson demanding the release of said Kraken.  You might think from that description that I’m bluffing and I’ve only seen the trailer, but actually, as is often the case, if you’ve seen the trailer you’ve got the gist of it and even the order with which it happens, so watch the trailer for the short version  (the trailer music is quite good too with extensive use of the suspended cadence).