{"id":159,"date":"2010-04-20T10:20:40","date_gmt":"2010-04-20T09:20:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/?p=159"},"modified":"2010-05-18T13:52:14","modified_gmt":"2010-05-18T12:52:14","slug":"how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Give Yourself a Heart Attack"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Step 1)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Get a significant hair cut in your lunch hour that takes at least six inches off the length of your hair.<\/p>\n<p>Step 2)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Go back to work and forget about the\u00a0hair cut.<\/p>\n<p>Step 3)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 In the evening, watch an episode of Quantum Leap for the first time.<\/p>\n<p>Step 4)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Go to the bathroom after watching the episode and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.<\/p>\n<p>Step 5)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Heart Attack.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Step 1)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Get a significant hair cut in your lunch hour that takes at least six inches off the length of your hair. Step 2)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Go back to work and forget about the\u00a0hair cut. Step 3)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 In the evening, watch an episode of Quantum Leap for the first time. Step 4)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Go to the bathroom [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[241],"class_list":["post-159","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tv","tag-tv"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to Give Yourself a Heart Attack - Chaotic Tortoise<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Give Yourself a Heart Attack - Chaotic Tortoise\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Step 1)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Get a significant hair cut in your lunch hour that takes at least six inches off the length of your hair. Step 2)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Go back to work and forget about the\u00a0hair cut. Step 3)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 In the evening, watch an episode of Quantum Leap for the first time. Step 4)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Go to the bathroom [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Chaotic Tortoise\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-04-20T09:20:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2010-05-18T12:52:14+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Ding\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Ding\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Ding\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/#\/schema\/person\/bf6123d7eac4a67f754184ab68db2d74\"},\"headline\":\"How to Give Yourself a Heart Attack\",\"datePublished\":\"2010-04-20T09:20:40+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2010-05-18T12:52:14+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/\"},\"wordCount\":75,\"keywords\":[\"TV\"],\"articleSection\":[\"TV\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/\",\"name\":\"How to Give Yourself a Heart Attack - Chaotic Tortoise\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2010-04-20T09:20:40+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2010-05-18T12:52:14+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/#\/schema\/person\/bf6123d7eac4a67f754184ab68db2d74\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"How to Give Yourself a Heart Attack\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/\",\"name\":\"Chaotic Tortoise\",\"description\":\"A blog for ordinary geeks\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/#\/schema\/person\/bf6123d7eac4a67f754184ab68db2d74\",\"name\":\"Ding\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/091490c27d340f49091f79cf75a1b4e6b265e6e8524a56bfe3f143486d244609?s=96&d=retro&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/091490c27d340f49091f79cf75a1b4e6b265e6e8524a56bfe3f143486d244609?s=96&d=retro&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Ding\"},\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/author\/ding\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How to Give Yourself a Heart Attack - Chaotic Tortoise","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"How to Give Yourself a Heart Attack - Chaotic Tortoise","og_description":"Step 1)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Get a significant hair cut in your lunch hour that takes at least six inches off the length of your hair. Step 2)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Go back to work and forget about the\u00a0hair cut. Step 3)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 In the evening, watch an episode of Quantum Leap for the first time. Step 4)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Go to the bathroom [&hellip;]","og_url":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/","og_site_name":"Chaotic Tortoise","article_published_time":"2010-04-20T09:20:40+00:00","article_modified_time":"2010-05-18T12:52:14+00:00","author":"Ding","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Ding"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/"},"author":{"name":"Ding","@id":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/#\/schema\/person\/bf6123d7eac4a67f754184ab68db2d74"},"headline":"How to Give Yourself a Heart Attack","datePublished":"2010-04-20T09:20:40+00:00","dateModified":"2010-05-18T12:52:14+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/"},"wordCount":75,"keywords":["TV"],"articleSection":["TV"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/","url":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/","name":"How to Give Yourself a Heart Attack - Chaotic Tortoise","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/#website"},"datePublished":"2010-04-20T09:20:40+00:00","dateModified":"2010-05-18T12:52:14+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/#\/schema\/person\/bf6123d7eac4a67f754184ab68db2d74"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/2010\/04\/how-to-give-yourself-a-heart-attack\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"How to Give Yourself a Heart Attack"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/","name":"Chaotic Tortoise","description":"A blog for ordinary geeks","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/#\/schema\/person\/bf6123d7eac4a67f754184ab68db2d74","name":"Ding","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/091490c27d340f49091f79cf75a1b4e6b265e6e8524a56bfe3f143486d244609?s=96&d=retro&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/091490c27d340f49091f79cf75a1b4e6b265e6e8524a56bfe3f143486d244609?s=96&d=retro&r=g","caption":"Ding"},"url":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/author\/ding\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/159","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=159"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/159\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":212,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/159\/revisions\/212"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=159"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=159"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.davidhing.com\/chaotic-tortoise\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=159"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}